When children experience the death of a parent, their whole world changes overnight. After all, a child’s parents mean everything to them, so to suddenly lose a parent can make them feel unsafe in a new life they have been suddenly forced to face. Some children are comfortable and at an age where they can express themselves, while others are not there yet. Some children try to process their loss internally, while others utilize external methods. Yet, there’s another category of children processing the death of a parent that is not often talked about: Let’s focus on children who have disabilities, especially nonverbal ones.
This demographic needs more resources and support than they have been given in the past. Children have a hard enough time knowing how to process the death of their parent at such a young age, but those with disabilities need support too, and there are fewer resources for them as compared to other grieving children.
All children need support and resources to process the roller coaster of emotions that come with losing a beloved parent. There are many ways professionals can help support grieving children who have disabilities. For example, using movie therapy focused on cherished characters the child enjoys can help them feel less alone, especially if they see that their favorite character might be processing the death of a fictional parent on the big screen. Children with disabilities can utilize arts-based research methods by participating in artistic activities they enjoy to express how they feel on the inside. Nonverbal children typically use cards to communicate or digital tablets. Caregivers and professionals can utilize these methods to make specific cards geared toward extra feelings children with disabilities might be processing while grieving a parent. Putting the parent’s voice into a stuffed bear or doll can give them comfort if they cannot express their emotions verbally.
One organization, the Dougy Center, is trying to support all children processing loss and the group has resources designed to help children who are nonverbal or have disabilities. Other organizations are slowly starting to roll out similar supports but more attention is needed to develop helping strategies for all children, no matter their unique needs.
“Grief is unique to each individual. When supporting a child with autism, meet them where they are and understand that they may show their grief differently. Explore ways they can express their grief, including sensory strategies, artmaking, music making, and big energy expression. … A group participant can greatly benefit from actively listening to their peers discuss their experiences of grief or observing their creative expression without having to verbally share themselves.” —Alysha Lacey, Chief Program Officer, the Dougy Center
Whether a grieving child has autism, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, or any other physical or mental disability, they are still a child with needs, and we need to make sure no one is left behind while navigating the death of a parent at a young age. More resources need to be created by professionals to help every single grieving child so we can help support them to have a better and brighter future.
