It was Halloween night. A college freshman went with friends to a fraternity party, hoping to see a sophomore boy she liked. They flirted and he invited her to his dorm room. She agreed to go.
They started kissing and he pushed her down on the bed, wanting to go further. She said, “No, I don’t want to do this.” He continued. Despite her words and attempts to push him away, he raped her.
Later, she learned that other women had similar experiences with the same student yet she was the first to formally report the assault. He apparently disregarded clearly expressed sexual boundaries multiple times.
Recent national allegations of sexual assaults on college campuses, degrading group messages, and bystanders enabling abusive behavior raise troubling questions about male sexual entitlement and peer culture. What leads some young men to disregard another person’s refusal or inability to consent? Where is empathy in these encounters? And what role might pornography play in shaping young people’s understanding of intimacy, pleasure, consent, and power?
What Is Pornography Teaching?
Today’s college students grew up with pornography available within seconds, often before their first romantic relationship. A national survey found that 73% of teenagers, ages 13 to 17, had viewed online pornography, with the average age of first exposure at 12 (Robb & Mann, 2023). Among those who viewed pornography, 45% of teens believed it provided “helpful information about sex” (Robb & Mann, 2023).
What exactly are young people learning from pornography?
The same survey found that 52% of teenagers who had viewed pornography reported seeing violent or aggressive content, including depictions of apparent rape, sexual strangulation, or someone in pain (Robb & Mann, 2023). Other researchers examined 255 popular pornography videos from 2000 through 2024 and found physical aggression in approximately 44% of the videos (Shor and Liu, 2026). Aggressive incidents nearly tripled between the earliest and latest decades studied with significant increases in spanking, hitting, and sexual choking (Shor & Liu, 2026). We have to wonder how seeing these behaviors on screen impacts what young adults believe to be “normal” or arousing. Without opportunities to question pornographic portrayals, young people may incorporate some of these messages, or scripts, into their developing sexual expectations.
Pornography and Empathy
A 2026 review of seven studies examined the relationship between pornography use and empathy (Hernández-Monferrer et al., 2026). One of these experimental studies linked exposure to films depicting sexual violence against women with reduced sympathy toward sexual assault victims (Linz et al., 1988). More recent research involving 3,607 Spanish young adults linked violent pornography exposure with lower empathy among men and greater acceptance of violence against women among both men and women (Sanz-Barbero et al., 2025). Although the evidence cannot establish that pornography decreased empathy, these findings raise concerns about emotional desensitization following repeated exposure.
Empathy allows us to recognize and respond with care to another person and their feelings. In contrast, sexual objectification reduces a person to an instrument of gratification. Modern pornography highlights these dynamics when humiliation or resistance are eroticized, and another person’s discomfort is ignored.
Importantly, the 2026 review found that higher empathy was associated with lower sexual violence perpetration, suggesting that empathy may play a protective role (Hernández-Monferrer et al., 2026).
From Sexual Scripts to Sexual Coercion
Another pivotal study followed 247 college men over seven months, examining how violent pornography exposure impacted attitudes and behavior (Bhuptani et al., 2025). The researchers found that greater exposure to violent pornography was associated with more gender-inequitable attitudes, greater alcohol-related problems, and less responsibility assigned to men who commit rape (Bhuptani et al., 2025). These factors helped explain the relationship between violent pornography exposure and increased self-reported sexually coercive behavior seven months later (Bhuptani et al., 2025). The study cannot establish cause and effect, but the connection between beliefs and later assaultive behavior deserves serious attention.
Peer influence adds to these risks. In an earlier study of 283 college men, Bhuptani and colleagues (2024) found that believing peers approved of pornography depicting rape was associated with more negative attitudes toward women. Perceived peer acceptance of rape pornography was the only factor that remained significant after accounting for other variables examined.
It is likely that what young men believe their friends approve of is important. When degrading comments or images generate laughter, or someone ignores another person’s boundaries without challenge, silence can communicate acceptance.
Empathy Education Is Essential
Parents may prepare teenagers for college by discussing alcohol, drugs, dating, and personal safety. But how many ask what their children have learned about sex and relationships from pornography?
Pornography Essential Reads
According to Robb and Mann (2023), 57% of teenagers surveyed had never discussed pornography with a trusted adult. As a marriage and family therapist, I believe these conversations need to begin long before college on a regular basis. Simply knowing the definition of consent does not guarantee that someone will respect another person’s boundaries. Young people need opportunities to develop and practice empathy, communication skills, mutual respect, and accountability. We can also teach young people how to respond and challenge peers who share sexual images or trivialize coercion.
Parents and mentors can help by asking questions about the relationships portrayed in pornography and other media. Are both people treated as individuals with feelings and choices? What happens when someone appears uncomfortable, unwilling, or unable to consent? What does a healthy, caring relationship look like?
Programs like iempathize empower youth and adults with empathy training to eradicate exploitation. School and home-based initiatives that inspire insight and action are promising prevention approaches worthy of further research.
The young woman in that dorm room clearly said “no.” We cannot know whether pornography influenced the young man who sexually assaulted her. But the research gives us compelling reasons to examine the sexual messages young people absorb and the attitudes their peers reinforce. If pornography is helping shape how young people understand sex, how can we intervene, as parents and mentors, and teach them empathy, love, care, and respect?
