When I present my story of full recovery from schizophrenia, I am often asked the question, “What trauma brought on your schizophrenia?”
The answer is simple: I have never experienced any significant trauma or neglect. Of course, everyone has bad days. But there was never any significant abuse, bullying, or painful breakups with a significant other.
People with and without schizophrenia make up a spectrum. Most people will not develop schizophrenia, even if they endure severe hardship. On the other hand, people like me have schizophrenia encoded in their DNA (or at least this is what my doctors believe). No matter what happens to us in life, we are going to develop the illness. This group is part of the 1 percent of people worldwide who develop schizophrenia.
Then there are individuals in the middle of the spectrum. These people may or may not develop psychosis, depending on their life experience, as well as their developmental experience during gestation. Unborn babies with a mom who has diabetes or other health conditions will be at a much higher risk of developing schizophrenia later in life. If there is any difficulty or trauma as a child, they will be at higher risk as well. Smoking cigarettes can also lead to a higher risk.
And finally, for many individuals, drugs like marijuana have the potential to set off a psychotic episode that may never subside without antipsychotic medications, and treatment may be indicated for life. Sometimes a psychosis will begin following just a single use of marijuana.
New school and research
Looking back, though there was an absence of trauma in my life, there were stressful life events.
The first one I recall is leaving my home in the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio, to attend the University of Southern California. Going to USC was my dream. Packing to go, then finally arriving and moving into the honors dorm was the most exciting thing I had experienced to that point in my life.
As soon as I arrived, I wanted to find a molecular biology research laboratory to work in. I found one within days of arriving in Los Angeles. I remember spending time in the lab doing experiments often until the early hours of the morning. I loved the lab, but it was incredibly stressful.
Travel
When I began my junior year at USC, I was searching for something more in life. Unfortunately, I didn’t use my restlessness to further my chosen educational goals; I looked for more through international travel and planned a two-month trip to Nairobi.
I loved Africa and had a wonderful trip. But I felt a lot of stress.
I didn’t know Swahili, beyond a few words (most spoke some English, but usually not very well). I greatly enjoyed helping some girls with their English, but that was stressful too. While living in the slum, we lived on vegetables. Later in the summer, I met a rich missionary and his wife, and they told me I looked pale and sick. I wasn’t taking care of myself.
Travel was dangerous. People got around Nairobi on small buses called “matatoos,” and though I occasionally traveled around the city, I rode in four separate matatoos that broke down. There was always the risk I would be attacked or hurt, as I was living right in the heart of a dangerous slum during my first few weeks. But I saw the breakdowns as a new adventure and dismissed the danger.
The culture was different and difficult to adjust to. It was very hard to find even two minutes to myself in the crowded house we lived in by the road. But I loved the sense of community and friendship.
I never imagined that on my return, this stress would cause a psychosis to take over my mind, and I would be unable to attend college again until 2009. I spent years homeless and symptomatic before making a full recovery from schizophrenia in 2008.
Personal Perspectives Essential Reads
Looking back
Major life events, even positive ones like giving birth or traveling, can cause stress. This stress can bring on psychosis for a person who has a certain genetic composition (1,2,3,4).
Looking back, leaving to attend school in California was much more stressful than I had anticipated. Would I have done better academically and in my personal life if I had attended a university closer to home? I will never know the answer, but I do remember that USC was my ultimate high school dream. I did not finish my degree there, but I am grateful for the good experiences I had at USC. While I was in Africa, two research studies were published, one in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. I am still very proud of both of these papers today.
A person living with psychosis or another mental illness should be aware that stressful events, even if they are positive, can cause a return of psychiatric symptoms. I am grateful for my exceptional psychiatric care in Cincinnati that has kept me productive and happy for more than 18 years.
