A few years ago, I received an urgent text from the mother of a client. The call that followed is every parent’s worst nightmare: “She is dead.” My heart sank; stunned and in disbelief, I asked, “What do you mean?” This incredible 25-year-old had not had issues with drugs, other than occasional use with friends, and had worked so hard to improve her mental health. She had her whole life ahead of her until a pill given to her by a friend killed her. I promptly cancelled my clients for the day, went home, hugged my teenage boys tight, then had a heartfelt conversation about the dangers of pills, powders, and plants.
According to the CDC’s National Vital Statistics Report (2024), drug overdoses in the U.S. jumped from 70,715 in 2017 to 106,352 in 2023. The top killers were fentanyl, methamphetamine, and cocaine, in that order. The good news is that for youth age 15-24, overdose death rates declined by 37% between 2023 and 2024. According to the CDC (2025) this decrease has been attributed to multiple factors, including the increased accessibility of naloxone (Narcan), improved access to evidence-based mental health and addiction treatment, systemic efforts to decrease the drug supply, and public health educational efforts by both government and private organizations.
One such organization, partnering with hundreds of other public and private organizations to promote drug awareness, is Song for Charlie. Charlie’s sudden death in 2020, from a single fentanyl-laced pill designed to look exactly like a Percocet, led his shattered parents to channel their profound grief into a public health crusade.
A research survey by Song for Charlie found trends that can help inform how to reach young people so they understand the fatal dangers of fake prescription and other drugs:
- Kids decide whether a pill is safe based on who handed it to them, not what could be in it.
- More than 1 in 5 young adults think they could spot a fake pill just by looking at it.
- Stress is one of the top reasons young people give for why their peers misuse pills, right up there with getting high and having fun.
- Teens (especially older teens) know way more about fentanyl than they used to and understand it can be lethal.
- Parents report having conversations about drug use, while young people are not nearly as likely to report the same.
What Can Parents Do for Greater Impact?
Aside from parents staying informed about the dangers of drugs (dea.gov is a great place to start), how we approach conversations with young people can improve our impact. Based on collective research, and years of experience working with adolescents, there are a few helpful principles to keep in mind.
Lead with your relationship.
Tough conversations are much more likely to be well-received and impactful when built upon regular, positive interactions. For harder moments, build trust by listening to one another, respecting room for differing perspectives, and exchanging information while honoring the autonomy of young people. When they feel our interest is in their growth, progress, and personal well-being, rather than focusing exclusively on consequences, they are more likely to share and listen.
Encourage the exploration of pros and cons.
All decisions have their pros and cons. Weighing a cost-benefit analysis when thinking about where young people stand on any number of issues or situations can help to create a balanced perspective, psychological flexibility, and some healthy internal conflict. Whenever possible, we want to try to reroute conflict from between us and them to within them.
It can be helpful to start with the pros, however much we may dislike them. When young people seek or receive offers to use drugs, there is a payoff. For some, it is momentary escape, relief, a sense of belonging, or simply pleasure or fun. If we cannot validate these perceived upsides, the conversation may end before we can highlight the dangers.
It can feel hard to be dialectical about the fact that our kids may decide to use substances, which we cannot control. And, we can also be firm in our stance that we do not agree with or support this choice. When exploring the cons, we want them to strongly consider that lethality is not worth any short-term reward. When undetectable counterfeit pills or powders are laced, it takes the tiniest amount to kill. We also want to be the ones they call in any situation if they feel discomfort, danger, or if they make a choice of which we disapprove.
Help them cope ahead.
An added value of having these critical conversations about drugs and decision making broadly is to help our kids think and therefore cope ahead. We want them to know how they feel, have a plan (including words they can use), and know when to exit a sketchy situation. Ask them what they think they would do if a close friend offered them a pill. Would they trust it? What can they say that leaves the friendship intact, does not impress judgment, and asserts their boundary? Talk through some different options and help them land with language they feel is authentic to them. Something along the lines of, “Nah dude. I’m good.” Or “No pills, no powders for me.”
Keep the door open and conversations going.
Important topics and evolving independence warrant ongoing conversations. We want our teens and young adults to know we are engaged in their lives, care about what happens to them, and want to talk with them about hard things. Take opportunities to check in when there are reminders, like a recent article, news story, or conversation with other parents. Ask young people what they think about controversial topics and where they get their information. Look with them at different sources, as so much of the news and information they are getting comes from social media. Discuss the difference between fact-checked, vetted sources and editorial commentary. Most of all, remind them, over and over, how much they mean to you, and keep the door open for future discussions.
