Less than one-third of Americans have written and sent an old-fashioned letter in the last year. I’m talking about taking out the stationery, writing “Dear So-and-So,” licking the envelope, putting a stamp in the corner, and placing it in the mailbox with the little red flag proudly raised.
I know I’m not the only one, but I took up letter writing this fall after reading (and falling in love with) Virginia Evans’s novel, The Correspondent. It features a less-than-perfect older protagonist who writes all sorts of correspondence for all sorts of reasons. I loved getting to know this woman through her letters and started wondering what legacy I will leave with only digital traces of my thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
So I drove to the local stationery store and purchased the fanciest stationery and most luxurious envelopes. I also bought a physical address book and started collecting mailing addresses of friends and family past and present. Then, I carved out a little time every week to think deeply about whoever I was writing to and create and send the most personalized notes I could.
Letter writing has some powerful benefits that we just can’t get from sending a text or an email.
Writing Letters Allows Us to Share Deeper Thoughts and Feelings
According to Sara Algoe, a professor in the psychology and neuroscience department at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, relationships are built on self-disclosure. When we reveal our deeper thoughts, feelings, and ideas, we connect with others through shared intimacy, a shared intimacy of revelations and disclosures that is much less likely when we’re communicating through the internet or even in person.
When I’m writing a letter, I find myself contemplating what I will say next and using my words carefully in a way that I don’t when I talk to people face-to-face.
People Love Receiving Letters
I have been blown away by the response to my letters. People have sent strings of joyful and revealing texts, scheduled FaceTime meetings with me, and even been inspired to visit me, all because of my letters.
According to a Gallup poll, over 94% of respondents feel positive about receiving personal letters. People feel good about getting personal letters in the mail, more so than birthday cards and packages. Knowing someone went out of their way to gather the supplies, reflect on our relationship, and put those thoughts down on paper means more than receiving yet another hurried text.
Letter Writing Helps Us Focus on Gratitude
There are tons of studies showing how impactful practicing gratitude can be, especially expressing what we’re grateful for in writing. Expressing our gratitude in writing can help lower stress and improve sleep quality.
Make sure to slip in some gratitude into your letters to experience some of these physical benefits. Reflect on what you appreciate, adore, and admire in whoever you’re writing to.
Join Me: Write a Letter
It’s been about two months, and I have yet to receive any letters in response to my initial correspondence. The wild thing is that it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m not writing letters to get letters. I’m writing letters to bolster friendships and relationships old and new. I’m writing letters to reflect on what I’m grateful for, to meditate, to think on the page. I’m writing letters to make other people’s days. Imagining my beautiful stationery being read by someone I love is gift enough.
So join me. Go out and get some stationery and some stamps, and let’s get to writing.
