Say you are on a first date and the person seems rather reserved and not super enthusiastic about you. Don’t let it spook you prematurely. Because rather than a cat-astrophic situation, it could actually be a cat situation—as in someone with “black cat” energy.
What Is a ‘Black Cat’ Girlfriend or Boyfriend
You may have seen references to “black cat girlfriends” or “black cat boyfriends” on social media and other parts of the internet. These probably aren’t referring to real black cats—unless some calico somewhere has somehow been posting like crazy. No, these terms describe human significant others who have “black cat” energy—meaning they embody the classic stereotypical personas of black cats.
What Is ‘Black Cat’ Energy?
So what exactly is the classic persona of a black cat? Well, it’s a calm, reserved, and potentially introverted persona. Many black cats are known, too, for acting quite independent and self-assured—seemingly not needing validation from others. All of this can make them appear rather aloof.
The stereotype also has black cats establishing and maintaining fairly clear boundaries until you prove yourself worthy. It’s about their tending to be very selective about whom they offer their time, effort, and affection to and to not open up until you’ve earned their trust. However, the stereotype is that once you’ve earned that trust, black cats can be very loyal.
Oh, and if you want a black cat to chase after you or in some way suck up to you, this classic persona says fuggedaboudit—that a black cat can’t be bothered to do any of that. That may be leaving you either a bit confused or convinced that the black cat has no romantic interest in you. Meanwhile, the black cat may be thinking, “Well, I am continuing to communicate with you and showed up so far. Isn’t that enough to show some interest?”
The Advantages of Having Black Cat Dating Energy
All of this can make someone with such stereotypical black cat energy quite attractive. After all, you know how many people like a mystery and a challenge. Those who have such black cat energy also may be less likely to lose themselves in a relationship. They’ll continue to maintain their hobbies, friends, and other interests. That can leave them more grounded and even-keeled with a better sense of self—more things that can be attractive.
Since those with such black cat energy are much more selective in whom they get close to, once you’ve formed a solid bond with them, it can be all the more solid. What you see is what you get as well. They may not be as likely to tell you something to simply make you feel good.
The Disadvantages of Having Black Cat Dating Energy
Everything is not purr-fect with such black cats, though, especially if they take their black cat behaviors to the extreme. Their hard-to-get-to-know personas can leave many people not bothering to get to know them. Black cat energy can come across as being too cold and distant. Others may desire more emotional feedback and assurance. As a result, the only people pursuing a black cat might be those simply wanting a challenge.
As well, there can be fine lines between appearing reserved, being aloof, and seeming downright arrogant. The black cat energy can end up rubbing people the wrong way. It might elicit some “Oh, so you think you are better than me” responses.
Additionally, being too black catty, so to speak, can inhibit the development of deep relationships. Others may not be willing to wait so long and work so hard to earn someone’s acceptance. Black cats may find that no one can pass their very high standards.
What to Do If You Are the Black Cat
If you are a so-called black cat, it makes sense to embrace, further enhance, and even celebrate your many aforementioned strengths. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Dating is about finding the right mutual fit, and there are people out there who appreciate what you have to offer.
At the same time, beware of having too much of a black “cattitude.” Realize that no relationship should be about one person proving themselves to the other. It’s better to meet each other somewhere in the middle and compromise. And don’t wait too long to let someone into your circle of trust.
Consider offering more positive feedback, as well. Show that you appreciate others’ efforts. A little encouragement can go a long way.
What to Do With a Black Cat
And what should you do if the other person is the black cat? Well, first, it helps to recognize their black cattiness and realize that they fall into another cat-tegory. The normal rules may not apply here.
Remind yourself that actions speak louder than words. Don’t expect the same reassurances that others may give. If black cats keep showing up for dates when you ask them and respond to your messages, such actions may be enough to demonstrate their continued interest. You may have to do a little more than you are accustomed to doing to nudge things along.
And trying to control or micromanage a black cat can be one of the worst things that you can do. When you give them the requisite freedom and respect, they could respond with some more playful licks—figuratively speaking, of course.
Finally, keep the lines of communication open. Don’t be afraid to tell the black cat how all that black cat energy makes you feel—both good and bad. Such authenticity and earnestness can help win the black cat over and cat-apault your connection to another level.
