My husband and I have been married almost 25 years. He maintains that it was love at first sight; I maintain that he is mistaken. Regardless of who is correct, as a family scientist, I recognize that beliefs like love at first sight can contribute to myths about romantic love that can negatively impact relationships. Hallmark movies, like other romance movies, tend to be based on these myths, including the belief in soulmates or that love can conquer all. In real life, the more one believes in these myths, the less likely they are to be in satisfying relationships. Some may even end their relationships before they experience conflict out of the belief that, if they were truly meant to be, there should be no conflict.
In Hallmark’s Forgotten Holiday, we see a couple who subscribes to myths about romantic love and watch as they decide whether they want to move past those myths to find authentic love or go their separate ways.
Love at Second Sight?
Hallmark’s Forgotten Holiday introduces us to Rob Ashford and Kathryn Liu. For Rob, it’s love at first sight. Rob proposes at the start of the holiday season since that is his favorite time of year. Kathryn’s fear of failed relationships, fueled by her parents’ divorce as well as her own, has her bolting from the proposal without giving Rob an answer. Confused and heartbroken, he drives to his sister’s house but gets into an accident that leaves him with amnesia. His memories quickly return except for his memories of Kathryn. The doctor prescribes the unconventional therapy that Rob and Kathryn re-date. As his memories return, he eventually remembers the way their relationship ended.
Hallmark has used amnesia to spark relationship development, improvement, or evaluation in previous movies. In this case, it allows Kathryn to understand how her fear of commitment impacted their relationship and allows Rob to identify what he truly wants out of a romantic partner. Amnesia provides an opportunity for both to learn more about themselves and each other, but they each need to make the choice to do so.
Authenticity in Relationships
Rob’s and Kathryn’s efforts to recreate their previous relationship fall flat. He repeatedly reminds her that he is not “old Rob”; perhaps he is also reminding himself. I found myself cringing at the awkwardness of their re-dating attempts. Things go so poorly that they question how they dated for an entire year. Viewers may be left wondering the same, feeling like Rob and Kathryn can’t seem to be themselves around one another.
We can face a similar challenge in off-screen relationships. Imagine agreeing to every holiday plan while quietly wanting something different, pretending to share an interest because disagreement feels risky, or withholding worries about the future to preserve a happy evening. The intention is understandable, especially if we also feel that we need to choose our battles and protect our connections. But when we’re hiding preferences, conforming to partners’ opinions, and withholding needs, we give our partner fewer opportunities to understand us, respond to us, or discover where we differ.
In one study, researchers found that concealing personal information from a partner was associated with lower relationship satisfaction and commitment. This daily diary study also linked concealment with poorer relationship well-being. Authenticity doesn’t mean sharing every thought or giving up privacy, but when we consistently hide important parts of ourselves, we limit the opportunity to discover whether our partner can know and accept us.
Love Built Through Everyday Choices
One of my favorite scenes comes towards the end of the movie. Kathryn’s father suggests that negative relationship outcomes emerge from choices rather than a doomed-to-be-alone fate. His observation leaves room for agency: We cannot control everything that happens in a relationship, but we can consider how our choices shape the connections we build.
Those choices may seem ordinary but can have a strong impact on the relationship. We can speak honestly about uncertainty instead of pretending to feel sure. We can let a partner express a different preference without treating it as evidence that they aren’t a soulmate. We can ask questions rather than assume what a disagreement means, address hurt instead of hiding it, and examine which expectations we carry from our family experiences. These choices won’t guarantee that a relationship will last, but they can help us understand ourselves and each other more clearly. This can help us build an authentic relationship.
In Forgotten Holiday, amnesia creates the interruption that allows Kathryn and Rob to reconsider their relationship. It is a dramatic storytelling device, but we don’t need to wait until a dramatic interruption happens to reflect on our relationships.
Hallmark vs. Psychology
Hallmark: If it’s true love, the spark will bring you back together—even if it takes amnesia and a second first date.
Relationships Essential Reads
Psychology: That initial spark can draw us to someone, but it cannot build or sustain a relationship. Romantic partners need to commit to getting to know each other, make room for differences, and be honest even when the conversation feels uncomfortable.
The verdict: Forgotten Holiday earns points for letting its couple question the romance they once accepted. Their second chance matters because it offers an opportunity to know each other more honestly. Fortunately, the rest of us can begin without a case of amnesia.
