We’re going to go out on a limb and say your sex life probably doesn’t have enough kissing, and if you have a partner with a vulva, you’re probably not giving her enough clitoral stimulation, either. These two things have way more of an impact of how good of a lover most women think you are—way more than the size of your penis or the freaky sex positions you can pull off. But lots of men neglect these aspects of sex. Not you—we’re here to teach you the best sex positions for women—ones that make it easy to make out and get her to the big O. One you should try tonight? Lotus. Here’s what you need to know about this intimacy-building position.
How to Do the Lotus Sex Position
The giver sits cross-legged while the receiver sits on their lap, facing them, and wraps their legs around their back.
Why You Should Try the Lotus Sex Position
Being on top gives the vulva-owner control over how slowly and how far they lower onto a penis or strap-on, as well as the angle of their pelvis. Lotus also gives “lots of close body contact, the opportunity for kissing, and the ability to grind against body parts,” which makes it easier to get consistent clitoral contact, says sex educator Searah Deysach, owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure product store in Chicago. She can rub her clit against your abs while she holds you close, and you can alternate between kissing her lips and her neck and ears. Don’t forget to stare into each other’s eyes occasionally—this can be a really hot way to connect and feel closer to your partner by introducing some vulnerability.
Pro Tip
“The more the receiver is inclined, the more they’re able to get broader stimulation,” explains Viviana Coles, DMFT, LMFT-S, CST, with Houston Relationship Therapy. Rather than sitting perfectly upright, the receiver should experiment with leaning forward and back, as well as changing their pelvis angle. They can plant their feet if they want to bounce, or focus more on swirling motions or grinding. The penetrating partner can offer support with their hands, lifting their partner’s butt.
Related: Shower Sex Is Hot in Theory. These 5 Positions Make It Hotter in Practice
