You don’t always need a new position to make sex feel exciting and different. Sometimes, all you need is an ice cube.
Temperature play involves deliberately introducing warm or cool sensations during sex, from tracing an ice cube over someone’s stomach to giving your partner a warm massage. It’s an accessible form of sensation play, but there are some important safety rules to know before introducing ice or turning up the heat.
What is Temperature Play?
“Temperature play is pretty much exactly what it sounds like,” says psychosexologist and researcher Chantelle Oten, who is certified through the European Federation of Sexology and European Society of Sexual Medicine. “It involves using different temperatures, usually warm or cool sensations, to explore how the body responds to touch during sex or intimacy.”
It might be something as simple as running an ice cube along your partner’s skin, using a warm massage oil, or experimenting with the contrast between a cool object and the warmth of someone’s hands or mouth.
What makes it interesting is that our skin is packed with nerve endings that respond to changes in temperature, so introducing warmth or coolness can make familiar sensations feel quite different. “You’re essentially giving the body something new to pay attention to, which can be really exciting when there’s an element of anticipation involved,” she says.
Common Temperature Play Techniques and Tools
Ice is probably the easiest place to start. Beyond that, Otten recommends warm towels, massage oils, and toys made from materials such as stainless steel or glass that manufacturers specifically say can be warmed or cooled.
You can also buy warming lubricants and body safe massage candles designed to melt into warm massage oil. If you are using sex toys internally, non porous materials such as stainless steel and break-resistant glass are among the body safe options recommended by Planned Parenthood.
Why Do People Like Temperature Play?
Part of the attraction is physiological. “Our skin is full of sensory receptors that help us detect things like touch, pressure and temperature,” says Otten. When something noticeably warmer or cooler comes into contact with the skin, specialised nerve endings pick up that change and send signals to the brain. “What I find interesting is that our brains don’t experience these sensations in isolation. Context matters!” A cool sensation might feel refreshing in one situation, uncomfortable in another, or incredibly pleasurable when you’re already aroused and enjoying intimate touch.
There’s also something exciting about unpredictability. When we become accustomed to a particular type of touch, our nervous system can start to anticipate what’s coming next. Introducing a temperature change interrupts that familiarity, making the next sensation more noticeable.
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How to Introduce Temperature Play in the Bedroom
Don’t begin by dripping hot wax over someone’s chest. Start with a mild temperature somewhere relatively insensitive, such as the arm or shoulder. Talk beforehand about what you both want to try, including any body parts or sensations that are off-limits. Then continue checking in.
A simple “Does that feel good?” or “Would you like it warmer or cooler?” can go a long way, according to Otten. Consent is ongoing, and someone can change their mind at any point. You might discover that your partner loves cooler sensations, while you much prefer warmth. That’s useful information! “Part of developing a satisfying sex life is learning that you don’t necessarily experience pleasure in the same way.”
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10 Temperature Play Ideas to Try
- Ice tracing: Wrap an ice cube in a thin cloth and slowly glide it across the neck, stomach, back or thighs.
- Follow cold with heat: After using wrapped ice, follow the same path with warm hands or kisses.
- Try a warm massage: Warm body-safe massage oil between your hands before massaging your partner. Be aware that oil-based products can damage latex condoms.
- Add a blindfold: Removing sight can heighten anticipation. Alternate a warm massage with a safely cooled massage tool.
- Experiment with a glass toy: If its manufacturer approves temperature play, place a body-safe glass toy in comfortably warm or cool water before use.
- Try stainless steel: The same principle applies to temperature-safe stainless steel toys, which naturally conduct temperature well.
- Cool your kisses: Take a sip of cool water before kissing your partner’s body. Otten recommends avoiding extreme temperatures and direct ice contact on delicate genital tissue.
- Bring in a warm towel: Warm towels can add a gentle temperature shift during massage or foreplay.
- Try a massage candle: Light a body-safe massage candle according to its instructions and use the resulting warm oil for massage.
- Play with contrast: Move between mild warm and cool sensations rather than sticking with one temperature. Otten recommends keeping things simple: one or two sensations can be more effective than throwing everything into the mix.
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Essential Temperature Play Safety Rules
Temperature play should feel interesting and not painful.
“My biggest rule is that temperature play should involve gentle changes in sensation, not extreme temperatures,” says Otten. “You don’t need boiling hot or freezing cold objects to make things exciting!”
Always test the temperature first, avoid prolonged contact with hot or cold objects, and stop immediately if something starts to sting, burn, hurt or feel numb.
There are also some medical considerations worth knowing about. People with diabetes-related neuropathy, nerve damage, spinal cord injuries, or other conditions that reduce sensation need to be particularly careful, because they might not recognize when something is too hot or cold. Circulatory conditions like Raynaud’s can also make cold exposure problematic.
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Temperature Play FAQs
What is the Ice cube trick in bed?
It’s simply using ice to introduce cold sensations during sexual touch. Otten suggests wrapping an ice cube in a thin cloth and tracing it over areas such as the neck, collarbones, stomach, inner thighs or back, then following it with a warm kiss.
What parts of the body are best for temperature play?
The neck, inner thighs, and nipples can be particularly responsive, Otten says, but there’s no universal pleasure map. Start somewhere less sensitive such as the forearm before experimenting elsewhere.
Do you need special candles or wax for temperature play?
Yes. Don’t pour wax from an ordinary household candle onto someone’s body.
“Regular household candles can become hot enough to cause serious burns, so choosing the right product is incredibly important,” warns Otten. “For beginners, I’d recommend a massage candle specifically designed for skin contact.” These generally contain lower-melting-point ingredients that turn into a warm massage oil. If you’re interested in actual wax play, where wax drips onto the skin and solidifies, you’ll need a product specifically designed for that purpose. Massage candles and wax-play candles aren’t necessarily interchangeable, so make sure you look at the product directions before buying and using.
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