I consider myself a pretty private person. I’m a journalist. My job, as my j-school professors drilled into my head, is to tell other people’s stories, not mine. On social media, I mostly post career highlights, leaving my romantic relationships and other intimate details of my life a mystery. It’s intentional. It’s protective. It’s how I want it. And maybe some of it is cultural. After all, Latinas are often taught not to air our dirty laundry in public. And yet, come July 2027, some of the darkest and hardest moments of my life will be sitting on a bookstore shelf near you.
My debut memoir, The Best Love Stories Are Between Friends, will be out in the world, and in its pages, strangers and relatives will read about experiences I never shared with anyone. Why? Because the grief of losing my best friend, Angelica Alvarez, to stage 4 small-cell carcinoma lung cancer four years ago nearly killed me, too. And talking about her, our friendship, and the life-affirming power of girlfriends that sustain us, even in their death, is what helped pull me back to life.
Sometimes, shamelessly allowing our grief to be seen, even in a culture that tells us to suffer in silence and move on, is what helps us carry it, and what allows those around us to carry theirs, too.
Monica Veloz, aka Monicastylemuse, understands this, too. The beloved Dominican-American content creator and beauty influencer is used to being honest about the challenges she faces as an Afro-Latina or her journey through motherhood. So when her own mother, Mama Muse, died of stage four gastric cancer, she mourned publicly, out loud, as her community of more than 400,000 followers on Instagram and Youtube (respectively) bore witness.
In this episode, we speak with Monica about losing her favorite person, the loneliness of grief, and what it means to mourn out loud and in public without shame or fear of judgment. We explore the power of grieving on your own terms, honoring your loved ones unapologetically, and finding ways to keep those relationships alive long after death.
Stream the episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify or watch it above.
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