If there’s one thing Matthew McConaughey will do, it’s tell it like it is. He believes parents should give their children enough room to fail.
The Oscar-winning actor discussed parenting, resilience, and career longevity on Daniel Lubetzky’s Build or Break podcast.
McConaughey explained that parents can become so protective that they prevent children from experiencing the natural consequences of their decisions. Instead of placing a proverbial safety mat underneath every risk, he believes children should be allowed to make manageable mistakes and “bruise their knees.”
“Kids aren’t afraid of heights until they fall,” McConaughey said. He used the example of allowing a child to climb a tree when the branch is relatively low and soft grass is underneath.
The actor believes those smaller experiences can help children build confidence before confronting more serious challenges. Constant intervention, he suggested, can remove what he calls the “beauty of ignorance” that sometimes allows young people to approach obstacles without becoming overwhelmed by fear.
McConaughey shares three children, Levi, Vida, and Livingston, with his wife, Camila Alves McConaughey.
His mother, Kay McConaughey, partly shaped his parenting style. “Well, my mother told me I was not running,” the actor said. “She told me I was little Mr. Texas and I believed it for 40 something years.”
That quality has also been important throughout his acting career. McConaughey recalled receiving the advice “Lean horse, long ride” from casting director Don Phillips early in his Hollywood career. The phrase reminded him that reaching the top was different from building a career that could survive its inevitable highs and lows.
McConaughey also admitted he didn’t always examine his own mistakes. It wasn’t until his 40s that he learned to pause after a setback, study what went wrong, and figure out how to avoid repeating it.
For McConaughey, resilience is not simply moving forward. It also means understanding the lesson before taking the next step. And that’s what he’s doing with his kids.